I know that husbands can die in a lot of different ways; road accident, heart attack or cancer - but what unites the different ways a man can die is the impact that it has on his wife.... You are supposed to enjoy many years of your marriage. He was your partner for better or for worse. Even if you did not get along all the time, there is something enormously comforting about being married. I know you've grown to rely on Uncle Gord for so many things. The point I'm making is that I know you feel his presence everywhere. He shares your bed; he shares your life. But not any more. Take all of those things, the joy, the laughter, the tearful disputes and the passionate nights, take them all, stick a little black bomb in the middle and blow them all to smithereens. It probably seems like a weird analogy, but it is kinda similar to being caught in a bomb blast. After an explosion the victim is left dazed and disorientated, and hearing the words 'He's dead,' for the first time will bring exactly the same response. There is a sense of unreality, of looking down on the unfolding drama but being totally disconnected with what is happening. Part of you has been torn away.